Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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