Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize