I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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