he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
