I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
