You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
