She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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