Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
