FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
