it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
