I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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