so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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