I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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