Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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