Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This baby is an asshole
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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