I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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