the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize