i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sext me about skeletons
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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