are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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