That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
