Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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