I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
