Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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