I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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