I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
