just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
