There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
