Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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