I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
