He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
