Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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