Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
