there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
