Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
