I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
