If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize