Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
