Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
