I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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