yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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