Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
