wrigley field is MILF paradise
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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