I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize