does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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