i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
