My friends, they love my intelligence
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
