dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
