I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
His nipple licking is glorious
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