I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
