I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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