When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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