I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
