Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
