Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
