found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
