Someone shit on the floor
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
