does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
