sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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