I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
