I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
