I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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