I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My liver just broke up with me...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
