I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
