areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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