I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize