I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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