You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
This is the high leading the old right now
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
