Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
